But.....as I got busier [im a hockey mom !] I am not a user type of person. I feel sad for her because of the life she will have. And definitely find somewhere to stay for Christmas. Now I feel like I'm making it up, or like there is something wrong with me. I have just had a falling out with this needy friend. They can't find me. I was âdifferentâ...I âunderstood herâ...she was my âfriendâ. probably because id told her he was horrible. I moved out - I reached a breaking point when overt jealousy of my new relationship with my boyfriend started to become a central issue. ?....So..I guess...I have to figure out how to be a friend to people that don't need me? After a while, I got TIRED of it! A girl randomly made me friends with me on the internet about a year or so ago. It is truly awful. This time around I moved in because I had been sharing a house with my mother who died in a car accident we were both involved in. I will type this again. The command was changed to /privacy. She hated her job, she hated her looks, she hated the fact that she was single, she never had money. I'm working on setting boundaries. I am going to cut her out of my life. Am I not allowed to say no? Over time, it became apparent to me she needs A LOT of attention. Any feed back would be great. Do This First: Link Your Switch Profile to a Nintendo Account From the Switch Home Screen, select your Profile in … If I try defending myself with her I feel like I'm kicking a puppy because she is slightly intellectually disabled. How to log in I forgot my password and my sim expired and my friend never give the recovery code. You should feel confident that I'll call you when I have time and you don't need to keep calling and calling until you pin me down. Nothing is ever enough. Hours a day on the phone for so many years and once I ask to back down I get that response. You just worded what i tried sending to Irene in an email. I wasn't able to! Its almost an entitled rapist mentality and it is loathsome and revolting and disgusting! She has a new roommate now that she clings to (and tries to make me jealous about, I think!). physically if you have to. The dynamic of a roommate/best friend can just lead to unnecessary stress and heartache and immense feelings of guilt. They start off appearing to want platonic acquaintances as a neighbor or family friend, but start the sexual harassment with the odd comment that increases in frequency and offensiveness. She has also straigut up told me that she will NOT confront me when she's upset. Checking in with your family and friends and asking how they're going is important, but can be tricky. My "friend" will call me on the phone and want to talk for hours (mainly about herself) and send me text messages telling me I'm her best friend. (1) Using trusted friends let me reset my p, How do I friend a friend I blocked on accident, Why am I still getting game requests from a friend on Facebook. Thank you if anyone has ideas. I listen to her but I just can't do it any more. That she let me down again, for the third time? She is a nice person but she is very self-centered and insecure. She has a lot of trouble being by herself and she expects me to spend all of my free time with her during which we are only allowed to talk about her. I am at the end of my rope. "Getting a friend request from a girl is nice insight that she is interested," says Brad, a media producer in his late 20's. She doesn't let me breathe. As our friendship really hasn't been a deep, share all bare all one, I only saw one face. She is not only there she has to sit beside me, she actually physically places herself between someone who wants to speak to me... She talks over them interrupting our conversation... She talks to everyone about me in the small community we live in. I want him OUT. I come home feeling very irritated and angry with her. He asks me if I'm looking at his texts when he's asleep. She tells me quite often that I look like a lesbian, which I would rather not hear over and over again. I am a very tolerant person like yourself, and was taught to be kind to everyone. It took me 18 months to end this relationship. On ListeningâTake It in, Don't Take It On. so I imagine that the distrust pre-existed me. Drop him like a load of dirt. I want to go overseas next year and I'm dreading it instead of looking forward to it. We really do spend 24/7 together but I feel like I want to strangle her. She always had problems, and her problems were always worse than anyone else's(if your dad died, her day at work was worse- this is not a joke). It's happen before and it's happening again, but they are not able to s, I tried th codes and trusted friends codes and still wonât let me in, I can't see my friends events in my notifications. âOh sh_tâ, itâs her..etc. For her I would answer though. Which brings me to why this morning was so terrible. I love the idea, but it probably won't work for me, Any advice on what to do if this needy friend is also a roommate, Daughter has Needy Friend who just lost her dad, "friend" dragging me into horrible situation she created, Reply to "Wow, I thought I was the only weakling". If they want to be your Facebook friend, they will send you a new friend request. You may be putting yourself at legal jeopardy if he is bringing drugs into your home and I'm sure that the stress is compromising your ability to perform at work. You call me like I'm dating you and even if we were then I would have dumped you for acting like a psycho. I feel horrible for feeling this way. We have been friends for a while but there is always a crisis. My problem which doesn't help is that I'm physically disabled and suffer poor health. YIKES this was enough. She has done nothing to improve her life. Press alt + / to open this menu alt + / to open this menu No matter what you give, what you do, how much, or … I can totally relate. Why did I let her befriend me to begin with? This time I intended to stay away for good and told my daughter to continue walking the dog but I would stay away. P. S. Given your cynicism about her ability to change, I hope you aren't planning to renew your lease! Friending a person while not meeting the requirements will print the message "You aren't allowed to send friend requests to this person!" The calls are less and less and when I call her or take her call itâs out of guilt, or I am ashamed to say, I could use her opinion or whatever on something concerning me. I spend almost all my time in my room (using my post-traumatic as an excuse for 'alone time') but in reality I just want to block out their madness. If you have two needy friends, you're in luck! I always attract PRATTS!!! The friend is 18, but has had a very secluded life, is homeschooled, has no other real friends, and acts more like a 13 year old. Was it worth it even if I got something out of the relationship? Show him or her how glad you are to meet such friend! I care about her and her boyfriend. Calling me for this, and for that, and I tried my best to help even though I have 4 kids to raise. One possible reason why your friend never hits the reply button is simply the time you usually send your messages. They then send friend requests to the friends listed on the real account. Even then, if I feel listening is starting to negatively affect me I would tell the person I need to go because I have things to do, but that I do care about what they are going through. She honed in on me. and dropped out of school. Now I just think it's sort of a waste of time, but I constantly acquiesce and join her. 6 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Are Let Down by Others, People who like feeling neededâor once liked the feeling (even if they don't anymore), People who feel like they aren't worthy of healthier, more balanced relationships, People who are stuckâeither feeling angry or sorry for their needy friendâand feel unable to get out of it. I told her that she was not at the top of my list of priorities and that the more she called the less I wanted to answer. I noticed some unusual quirks about her as time went on.....As I listened to her gossip about all of her friends and what they did to her I felt bad, because her stories were very believable. Wow- everything here sounds exactly like me! She'll try me at home, then on my cell. We want to help, not hurt, but this is such a very fine line we are walking. She kept knocking at my door and all I could think about was how much I wanted to climb out my window and run away and never come back! No matter what you give, what you do, how much, or how often, it will never be enough. My friend calls a minimum of 10 times per day! The same thing happens wherever I am. I say 'unload' because it is seeming like such a weight to be friends with this person. And then they try to cling to me by any means possible when I stop acknowledging them. I know now, however, that I will NEVER again live with a friend. She says it is because she wants us to be closer and to spend more time with me. If you think that she is on the verge of a breakdown, you could also gracefully suggest that she speak to a professional about some of the things that are bothering her. How Do Dreams Change Throughout a Night of Sleep? How do I draw the line without insulting her. (You deserve a break for what you've endured!). I am not a mental health professional or a provider of any physical or mental health services. I hope I never let this happen again. I am usually an outgoing and cheerful person too, but the relationship I just described seems to just block everything else out. Really? My relationships seem unrewarding to me to at this point. She actually used the word "overwhelming". We joke all the time that we are like an old married couple...but how do I tell her that I want a divorce? I got a chill when I read this, because I had a friendship that ended around the same time it was posted. My daughter wants to help, but this friend, who is an only child, mainly wants to talk about herself. Completely suffocated. He has both mental and physical health problems due to her neglect and is now in his teens, into drugs/sex(safe or unsafe?) Can I set my needy friend up with your needy friend? Yes you can text hot girls ether for a friend or gf or bf it just about having fun getting to know each other more and grow our commuity. We moved into a new place, and everything had to be her way.. even tho the house was in my name. She got just fired from her job after being warned over and over again for tardiness. Get tough now! I told my roommate that I was an introverted person and needed a lot of time to myself. Whether it's with a friend or a relative, many of us get involved with people whose needs can never be satiated. You can follow the question or vote as helpful, but you cannot reply to this thread. I worry about her because it's just not normal to NEED someone there all of the time. Your roommate sounds very possessive and demanding and has a hard time letting you breathe! If my bedroom door was closed, it was a signal that I didn't want to hang out or have lengthy conversations that day - it was an alone time day. Now none of us talk to her and she is spiteful and ignorant .No one should make a girl feel like that and talk like that about the girls mom!! I really needed to clean this weekend and get my life organized, but no! Angry that I trusted someone incapable of being trustworthy. It is a daily thing, she seems to ALWAYS be at home when I am. I snapped at her and said do you know how many times you've called me this weekend? If you have a friend that is suffocating you--you are definitely not alone! I don't want to take any chances of needing to deal with an ethics board in the very distant future. I constantly feel like my life is conjoined--'in the shadow' of this other person. Because of their presence in your life, your life feels beautiful. If it's that bad, simply cut loose and run. I want to get away but I also want to make sure she is OK. What do I do? She said things like "I'm a terrible person" and "I guess I just can't talkto you like i did anymore..." and "Ijust want us to be close friends.." etc. I can't help him. Then calls my mothers house looking for me. I too am good at self soothing and never hassle anyone with my problems/pain. What's funny is, I rarely reach out to people with my problems - I am a MASTER at self-soothing and I think that's because I feel like people usually don't want to hear it. I was in almost the exact situation. If your friendship is more toxic than beneficial, it might be time to pull the plug. It happens every single time. *** We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t even remember why I started to hang out with you in the first place, weirdo. Your feelings parallel mine. If someone unfriended you by mistake, they can send you a friend request. I have needs since my accident and mother's death (and cat's death, and having to move out of the first house i have loved in 10 years) - yet surprise surprise, she uses my accident AGAINST ME, telling me the shock of it has put her into a fear that everyone who leaves her house won't come back. âOh sh_tâ, her name popped up on caller ID. I've only recently decided that been needed is draining. It's like a girl crush on me and she is dominating me. Have you experienced a needy friend? No doubt a ploy to get me to answer! I try to leave it on silent when I'm doing something else (which is often). I never did anything to warrant distrust, (talking about her to other people, etc.) What irritates me even more is that her stalking me is like she is not acknowledging how much I have tried to help and support her this week - what I did was clearly not enough and I am expected to be there? I feel like I'm starting to get my own life and identity back. It tacitly invites your friend to go through his or her images of the history that the two of you share, and send one back to you, in exchange." I did it but sent her a note saying I cannot not help her again as I cannot be responsible for her son- and pointed out that he was without food, his medication and reeked of "weed". I realize now it's their fault they are alone but with each one I believed at first that is was the isolation that occurs in old age which can happen to any of us. I have this thought that when you meet someone and you hang out for a bit then you are somehow obligated to remain in sometype of replationship with them. Message for Best Friend : A best friend is someone whose presence means the world to you.Your best friend not only knows all your secrets but also motivates you in difficult times. He asks if i'm recording our conversations. I want to help her but I do not need another child. I have lived with 'Kat' for almost a year now. Maybe I should try to lean more on my "friends." It's ridiculous nonsense. It took me a while to figure her mental health conditon, she is very good at hiding them. However, this person calls me up to 8-15 times a day. Then the next day the same thing. The face I'm seeing now is mentally off. That said I do love her friendship, but not her disregard for other people feelings. Then he called to say he was homeless; had left the drug house and was in a Walmart parking lot, sleeping then going to work. One of the boundary articles mentioned that at first unhealthy people WILL get mad at you for setting boundaries with them (I'm not yelling when I used all capital letters, I'm just emphasizing that people getting angry will happen). Have any of you ever had a friend that did not share feelings? He will try to grope you and kiss you if you don't. This is something only Facebook can officially answer. So I have a friend who came to Canada from the states. esp. Your roommate might, too. Guilt becomes a big factor for me. However, I made the terrible mistake of moving in with such a friend! If your truly needy friend has been that way for some time, the real possibility of changing the relationship verges on hopeless. Facebook sent me confirmation that codes I got from my 3 trusted friends were accepted. Be kind to yourself and protect yourself. I had a roommate for a year that was so needy, it got to the point that I had to lock myself in my room just to do my homework or else she would talk my ear off about her problems. I don't mind looking after people and am happy to help out where I can. She hoards animals (affection source) but doesn't look after them, she wanted a baby and now can't be a proper mother, she spends money like water because she wants 'pretty things for the house' but refuses to do housework (the place is a pit)...the list goes on. She absolutely has no friends and she has brothers that live out of town. I selected three friends on the security and none of those friends received an email. You can still be cordial and helpful to one another. I'm not a reckless person, but I do not search for this kind of worry and found that annoying. Recently, i got a call from her husbands number which I answered assuming something may seriously be wrong with her...but no.. it was her saying her phone battery was dead. 0. They know I am there for her so I feel like I am left to save her. I just got a odd friend's request out of nowhere while playing online yesterday. WOW, this article really helped me a lot! If you're worried others aren't contacting you, consider whether you reach out to them. I finally had to kick her out, I felt so bad but relieved at the same time! Every time so far, there has been absolutely no urgency to those whatsoever! You can exchange information, potentially even send a friend request right then and there, and continue talking with the aid of the internet. I have a best friend for many years (grammer school) and have been there for her through two marriages. We are setting boundaries, ie, not daily phonecalls etc, but I think this girl needs more than my daughter can give right now; I think she could benefit from counseling. He will try to play on your sympathy. I have cut her out of my life in the past and it also gives me anxiety to be avoiding her. Take me as I am kinda thing. The interesting thing is that she does not seem to want to talk about her loss. She is a fun and entertaining person,and fun to be with most of the time. She wishes I would do the same. I really appreciated this article and I would say that I am generally very good at unloading friends who are too much of a burden. We can learn from the experience to prevent unfriending in future online — … She could be very good in some ways. She says this is because she cares about people and wants to check up on them. Mad at myself that everyone else âgot itâ before I did. New friends are cool – they entertain us, they support us, and they share everything with us. I've got it! As for messages back when I had a Facebook, it seemed like it bothered a lot of people besides those who I talked to regularly, so I tend not to send … If I don't answer her right away on facebook and she knows I'm online, she sends "are we still friends" or "are you mad at me" or "I'm sorry for bugging you." I don't want to hurt her feelings... Because I'm not a horrible person... And when she is angry she is vicious with her gossip about anyone who crosses her. I made friends with her when we moved to a new town because she was shunned by everyone. And she is one of them! She has a lot of unresolved issues from her past and needs constant validation. So last night I told her of course I answered for another number. However, itâs not the same anymore. Which Friend in a Box did I try. If she had a bad day she will have a list of people who wronged her. Hmmm? I see this because she has now found someone else whom is taking her calls daily. I realise this is drastic and quite rude and completely out of character for me, but I feel like I had no other choice... My 15-year-old daughter is in a tricky situation. A few minutes ago, i deleted one of my best friends off my bbm contact list. She told me these things and disputed things I said regarding mental health as if I didn't know anything about it - when I was actually the one studying to become a mental health professional! She's on medication and is seeing a therapist, but I don't think it's enough. Your friends may feel like you're not interested in being contacted if you rarely text, call, or e-mail them. Breaking off any friendship is tough, and abandoning a toxic friend can be particularly rough. Over a year ago, she lost her home. And if any aspect of that ever changed, it would be really obvious that I was trying to avoid her. Tiger Woods & Elin Nordegren: Time Apart, Healing Betrayal? Therefore, I am questioning and re-evaluating my role in this and in other friendships that werenât the healthiest. It's all about her, and has been for the last 10 years. I met this person many years ago when we were young. (1) Using trusted friends let me reset my p: How do I friend a friend I blocked on accident: Why am I still getting game requests from a friend on Facebook I will NEVER again live with a friend. She feels I betrayed her when I told her I agree with the employer or understand why he did this. I see their name and beside their pic is a 'loading' note. Three hours on the phone one night, two hours the next night, countless emails throughout the week - fine. I can't put my finger on it, but I just feel GUILTY! I just want to hide at home where mostly I am safe from her. 15 mins is not going to cut it with her! You need to have a heart-to-heart with her, when you both feel relaxed, and explain that you are the type of person who needs a bit more space. Another reason why this is a great website for finding online gift. What kind of person would put up with a friend like that? A great deal she found on dresses for her grand daughters!! She is paranoid about safety and even started looking up the sex offenders in our area. I was rejected by a friend that implied that I was needy. I stopped answering many of the calls only to get messages that would say it was IMPORTANT that I return her call. I almost think he's FAKING it though because he also talks alot about how his Dad is on perm disability and gets money just because he's been diagnosed as "insane." He spends hours and hours texting and talking with anybody that will listen. He asks me if i'm contacting his family and reporting to them what he's saying. There are some friends who are so needy that the friendship begins to weigh you down like an emotional ball and chain. I just can't take it anymore. I ignored this(I know she was reported- maybe by a neighbor- to social services- she told me but they didn't do anything) because I decided long ago- I cannot be involved in this- I have my own life and family issues- but I never openly said anything. "Hey, I would like to be friends with you but the only reason you call me is to get a drive somewhere or borrow money. The best thing you can do is connect your friend with social supports to get him out of your house as soon as possible and out of this hole: Specifically, he needs to be assessed by a mental health crisis team to see if he might be suffering from a mental illness and to help him obtain social welfare supports. Like you, I was the person who understood her, helping her and coaching her. How to Support Elderly Parents Moving to Assisted Living, Study Finds Therapy Dogs Have No Effect on Anxiety in Teens, Children With Three Parents? 4. I too dread my phone ringing and have reached a stage where I feel that people should just leave me alone. We moved her into a rental. She constantly makes fun of others. Go to a movie? Accessibility Help. I care for her well being and I really don't even have ill feelings for her, but she's almost constantly causing me anxiety. DESPERATE,,why dont some people GROW UP!!!!. Thanks for ranting, reading your story helped me tremendously!! Hi My Needy Friends. Before I knew it, she was coming to study in my country (which is on the other side of the world!) Gosh, I feel sorry for your problem. He says she has become a monster and so possessive that he says I'm now a prisoner in my own home and I now cry because I can't make her leave me alone and stop stalking me. How can I tell her that she is one of those people we talk about, in fact she is the MAIN stressor in my life! She does alot for me. I feel trapped in my own home. I know i'll lose some friends because they're used to me being this way and being introverted doesn't make it easier to make new friends. Ironically, we should be friends lol! I have someone I became friendly with while doing some volunteer work in the community. How can I enjoy the rest of it? I dont answer 15 phone calls a day. American Cocktail Club. Probably why i tolerate these behaviours too. She would constantly say 'we never get together any more' or 'try to make it over for coffee' or 'I guess you are too busy for me'. I feel so smothered. I have exactly the same scenarios with all my old friends. It's just that she's one of those people that is so charming and charismatic and intelligent that you would be lucky to have her as a friend-- but she makes these real snide remarks about people's physical appearance a lot. My life doesn't feel like it's really MINE any more. I too kept giving her more and more chances, but I realize that she will always have more problems than the average person because of her mental state. I likemy roommate. She was fairly unresponsive to emotional support. As usual, being the savior that I am, I offered a temp place to stay. The other day I said no to something, like the article suggested. Facebook not letting me use my friends code, Problem Adding connecting Facebook friends (contacts) with Instagram. As long as you don't have a severe mental illness these two areas can be worked on safely without therapy, but if you do have a mental illness I highly suggest doing boundary and self-esteem work with a therapist since deeper and unresolved issues can surface while working on self-esteem and boundaries. She depressses me. I know she had positive visions and dreams for her life and career, as well as problems- with her weight and body image, family and marriage, by simply observing, but if I tried to talk to her about her life she was closed. But this is over the top! Both she (in terms of her married lover) and you (in terms of your needy friend) both must get something out of these relationships. I started to get kind of freaked out. Beside their pic is a daily thing, she gained my confidence trust... YouâA FREE service from Psychology today months to end this relationship boyfriend 's for a while, I didnât to. 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